I hate the kind of associations I make with people. Mostly associations of countries and all that derives from them. Unfair I know.
Belgium can never be a neutral country anymore.
I need to talk about smoking, but perhaps I am hoping to tak about it in past tense. How futile is that hope? SHould it be a resigned sigh or a celebratory one?
I am impatient. I want words that aren’t from me but that are mine to claim.
I went to a beauty parlour today and felt ugly.
I want to meet and kiss Kuzhali Manickvel. Kiss her, hug her.
And then I want to make filter kaapi and share awkward silences with her.
But I don’t want to be waiting then.
I hate this day.
But I don’t. Not really.