they sound so fake

even to my ears.

i’m just finding it hard to believe that there’s you and there’s me and that’s that. whatever happened to those pauses in time, when there was no memory or rhyme?

I’ve missed your words, though I’ve had none of my own.

Kitchen disasters

You would think that a hybrid of Spanish Omelette and the Thai Omelette Roll would be a success.

It’s not.

Lesson learnt: Eggs + Sprouts = EPIC FAIL

Standing in the valley staring into the vast choke my eyes are blind for naught can I see. Where is the world where are the souls where went the empty and where went the sorrow. Light stole and in the narrows black emptiness resides. Seek the pain the betrayal the lies the fights for all that exists is oneness of a kind that I reject and rejects me. Stood in the heart of the random storm but a blind spectator slowly mingling in  the colours and the speed lost in the dots of the background waiting for the block the fight the sting.

drop by drop, i’ll fade
slowly, painfully, fearlessly
knowing that you can’t do a thing about it.
i can’t breathe anymore
you think i can
i would prove you wrong
but i’ve disappeared now.

Less than goodwill

The shore’s bright and the shrine’s inviting

The chill is warm and comforting

Like a sweaty hug thats hard.

A drill goes on and on

It seeks but never finds

Infinity, we achieve

And ignore

Blood, we fear. 

Our life, we fear.

They kill lives to save a heartbeat

We cheer and shed bitter tears of joy

The hard day is nearly over

The bed that’s far from this prison, locked in hell

Invites me over

My bones are tired

My blood is thrilled

We race towards the finish line

and find ourselves exactly where we started.

For whom the wedding bell tolls.

Me : Ooh, pretty quilt. *grabs it*

Mom: No, don’t open it.

Me: I thought it was for me?

Mom: Yeah, not now. It’s for your wedding night.

Me: blink blink 

Mom: What?  Don’t look so surprised. You’re twenty years old already. You’re almost there. 

 

Go on. Laugh away. I did. 

 

Once I stopped gaping, that is.

As I told A yesterday,

Subtlety is rather mindfucking.

 

 

And I’m off to Pondy now.

Have yourself some Neruda.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines. Write, for example, ‘The night is starry and the stars are blue and shiver in the distance.’ The night wind revolves in the sky and sings. Tonight I can write the saddest lines. I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too. Through nights like this one I held her in my arms. I kissed her again and again under the endless sky. She loved me, sometimes I loved her too. How could one not have loved her great still eyes. Tonight I can write the saddest lines. To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her. To hear the immense night, still more immense without her. And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture. What does it matter that my love could not keep her. The night is starry and she is not with me. This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance. My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her. My sight tries to find her as though to bring her closer. My heart looks for her, and she is not with me. The same night whitening the same trees. We, of that time, are no longer the same. I no longer love her, that’s certain, but how I loved her. My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing. Another’s. She will be another’s. As she was before my kisses. Her voice, her bright body. Her infinite eyes. I no longer love her, that’s certain, but maybe I love her. Love is so short, forgetting is so long. Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her. Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer and these the last verses that I write for her.